Here I am again!

Hello!

Last weekend I was on a family weekend, so I was stuck with them for over two days. Well okay, not really stuck, but my family differs somehow from most families. Anyways, I have a niece, only a few months old. And literally every time I came even a little bit close to her, she started crying. Quite an awkward moment to be honest! Luckily not all babies do so. And I really like kids, so when I get older I would love to get children myself. Okay, that’s the random fact of this time.

At the moment I don’t really know what I exactly feel. The first moment I’m all happy and stuff, but the next moment I have no clue. So what happened since my last post:

We talked via chat. And that’s sort of it. I have tried to get to know what she actually thinks, but I can’t really find out… I did tell I still like her, but I couldn’t figure out what her reaction meant. So I’m sort of in the middle of two worlds. Partially in a happy world of amazing stuff, and partially in a world of sadness and loneness. Well okay, my friends are there for me when I need them, but it still feels like I’m alone in some way.

I’m slowly starting to prepare myself for the worst. I hope for the best, which is quite logical, but I fear that I blew it all. I blew everything in actually fifteen minutes. And why didn’t I do it better? I don’t know. That’s the stupidest part. I blew it myself and I don’t know why.

So okay.

Hope the best, fear the worst.

See you later!